The Kindness Clause

Author: G. Jefferies

 

 

A week ago, although it seems rather longer, Niki Lopez initiated a challenge. Not the sort I’d normally do because it’s one that drags you inside yourself to explore stuff that usually gets boxed up and ignored. Part of that default mind. The one that runs day to day business without too much thinking, well, apart from catastrophising that is. The usual mantra of despair, mistakes, the future. All neatly reinforced by TV news, media and politicos whose openers are ‘just to be absolutely clear’ when they are about to spend the next hour talking about nothing at all of substance and more than a lot about how great they are, cutting a good deal, vote for me or civilisation is doomed.

I will, at this juncture, just say the blogosphere has really caught me out. I have views and follows from over 50 countries. FIFTY countries people, and what does that tell me…we just want to get along fine. I see friendships forming, support for anything one cares to ask and kindness everywhere. This isn’t from the bloke down the road either. This is real people behind the blog. I’ve had chats with people in India, Spain, the Philippines, South Africa, Peru…I could go on and on. I’ve deliberately omitted UK (I live here) and the US (because it dominates hits…apart from Spain…on Facebook my author page collects people from Spain…why? I have no idea but that’s just brilliant don’t you think? Going global, to coin a phrase.

I’ve posted comments relating to my disdain of politicians in many a comment here and there so to those that have heard the above before I make no apologies but hope you read on.

 

 

I guess this is where this year started from. I prevaricate a lot. I learnt this on a mindfulness course, then a writing course. It may have been the other way round but the point is the default mind take over. Living zombie mode, automatic pilot, existing not living…no, that’s zombie mode again. Stuff happens in life that knocks the confidence now and then, throws a curve ball or proper stuffs you up. Everyone gets those here and there, some better, some worse; some affect you, some don’t. It’s life. Trick is to not collect bad things, not to dwell on them…the word here is catastrophise…sit in default mode recycling negativity until it paralysises the will to motivate.

I try to write books and stories. That was my personal hole. Good or bad? Am I messing about, people will think this is rubbish; hell I think it’s rubbish. I still do in unmindful moments but that, I’ve learnt, is the author mind and not unusual. I use the word learnt deliberately…it’s different from not knowing it happens and catastrophising to the point where you just stop.

 

 

So, in January I hit the blogosphere. Then met a few people, then a few more people and ended up where this post began. The kindness challenge, week one.

 

 

What am I grateful for?

Being here writing to you in a medium that is out of my comfort zone, going global and putting my writing up to be shot down in flames. Except it hasn’t and that’s down to all the wonderful bloggers that have taken time out of their lives to read, comment and make suggestions

Something I love about myself.

I’m here and enjoying writing, living in the moment and aiming to publish a book that is currently at my proofer.

Read an inspirational quote.

If you read any of my three day quote challenges then you will know I love quotes already 🙃

Wake up and think about 10 beautiful things in your life.

This is harder and comes after the chaos of school runs. That said, two of the ten sit in my car on the way…the other eight are for me to know. I’m not good at positive self appreciation yet, never mind going global with it 😊

Do something nice for yourself.

I do, over morning coffee, I come to check out my bloggers and whenever time allows comment and reply. Alas time is my enemy here and I can’t react to every blog I follow. If I try, and I have, it deals me a personal unkindness because I don’t achieve things I need to be doing. I have faith you all get this and have similar conflicts. But that’s OK, yes?

Dedicate some time to yourself.

This is new. Well, old but I forgot to keep to the plan. Two hours a day writing. It’s part of why I’m doing this challenge. To get into a habit for me.

Give yourself a break.

I’m working on this one. A break from catastrophising about things that can’t yet be changed, a future that hasn’t yet happened and a past that is not just filled with bad memories

Think of 5 good things for every negative thought.

Refer to the previous giving myself a break. This is where mindfulness comes in. Breaking the cycle. Meeting good people, engaging with them and remembering times that make me smile. They, I have realised, outweigh the negatives.

Come up with your own self-kindness exercise.

Not an exercise a clause. The Kindness Clause. I have developed this as a feel good factor for fellow bloggers and myself. It runs like this…

If you have the audacity to like a post, follow or comment written by me anywhere then I will visit your blog and repay the kindness with a comment and usually a follow.

 

---

 

I know not if this satisfies the challenge criteria. I was unmindful in leaving it until today to construct but in knowing that, I have been mindful to do it. I hope you all have a wonderful week and thank you for reading. I leave you with two more quotes;

 

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

Winston Churchill

 

“Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store.”

Dr. Seuss

 

---