Author: G. Jefferies
Her head was on his shoulder. He could feel it growing damp and knew she was weeping. Something inside his mind was screaming get her away from here. She has the power of foresight. He shook it off, but the pounding in his chest would not let go. Instincts were generating fear. It was now dark. Time had flowed fast and the sun was beyond the horizon leaving an orange glow in the wisps of cloud that drifted beyond the river.
“We should go.”
They were now side by side, holding hands and watching a growing mist begin to stir on the river. Behind another fog was creeping unseen along the path. With it came disquiet. Insects fled or died, birds were absent and animals beyond reach having sensed things were wrong some time ago. Only the owls watched on.
“Wayland.”
The river looked creepy in the after light with mist overlapping the banks and spilling into the fields. From up on the path it looked like ground clouds moving ever onwards.
“Yes?”
Behind the fog continued to flow. It was more than just the daisy that curled and expired underfoot. Ghost lights flickered in the forest as the temperature plummeted.
“It’s too late. Don’t ever forget me…”
He turned to look at her
“Wha…”
Was all that came forth before something unseen heaved him off the path and sent him crashing down the bank toward the flood field. Tumbling he heard an ungodly scream and knew this to be Tara. Around him the dark landscape turned and wheeled until his head found a tree stump and the dark became black.
When he awoke it was light and Tara was gone. Wayland couldn’t move. His limbs refused to work.
© G Jefferies and Fictionisfood, 2016. All rights reserved.
That’s very kind of you 😊 I try but being a terrible self critic is a right pain in the mind…for want of a better phrase lol. Thank you so much for commenting too. Reader feedback is what makes writing worth while. The drive to battle the editing and try to publish one way or another 🤔
Wow… you got me hooked to your blog. Love your style of writing… You are really talented..!
Terrific imagery and characterization. Nice job of using concise and powerful detail.
Thank you for the generous reply. Hard to glean too much from this post as a story as such I know, but not giving too much away is the hard part from my perspective. Really appreciate you taking the time to comment 😇
You write so beautifully…I can’t wait to read what comes next….thanks for sharing 🙂
Thank you for the kind words…in fact I am very sceptical of my ability so if readers such as you find it acceptable then that is the best accolade I could have. I’m dabbling in several projects. This one belongs to my opus magna possibly in book two of a series I aim to try and publish at some point. The one I’ve finished and am currently editing is The Assent of Rose Marie Gray. That’s an exploration in depression but ties into this books world near the end. I’ve put some of her story up on here too if you fancy a read of them. That will probably be the first book to appear somewhere.
Many thanks for visiting and even mire for taking the time to comment 🙂
I have time to read The Assent of Rose Marie right now…I’ll comment as soon as I’m done 🙂
Flipping heck that was a quick reply. There’s a few from different bits in the book. All short because I want to show what it holds but not reveal entirely what it’s about. Thank you so much for taking the time. Any comments and feedback are really welcome. I’ve a random author page on Facebook too if you get bored 😇
It’s great that you put bits of the book out there…kind of like when they screen test movies using small audiences before releasing it to national audiences…and, yes, today was a good day for me to read blogs….I am fighting a bit of the flue I think, so didn’t go to work today. P.S. thanks for following and for the “like”…much appreciated….
Thanks. I was wary of putting things out but the parallel to trailers in films is a good one. Just need bigger exposure and to somehow grow followers and get involved with other people’s blogs. Will peruse your other writing in the morning 😊
Please don’t feel obligated 🙂 It is a real pleasure to read yours and they aren’t nearly as long as mine (my weekly posts are between 1000 and 1200 words…more of a commitment). I’ve found that reading other people’s blogs and commenting/connecting is the most natural way to grow followers…oh, and Community Pool…that gave me a huge boost. Take care…I’ll be watching for your posts and will happily give you feedback 🙂
It’s more a courtesy than an obligation. More so if the content is good too. From what I’ve seen of yours then it’s worth commenting. Caveat is time. I never have enough and I’m trying to edit a book and that is taking forever 🙁
Hopefully my posts will get more frequent shortly. You can always track me on Facebook G Jefferies is the author page and it’s full of gibber jabber too . You are right about community pool. It seems full of really friendly people like you 🙂
Not into science fiction but still learning and trying out new ways of writing, so exploring new styles. Maybe I will have go at science fiction, I’m exploring a depressed character at the moment “Hetty” and putting her in familiar settings. Reading your story and your style is thought prevoking and that’s good. The course said keep reading and I think seeing how others on the course are developing is good too. I now need to read your story from the beginning . I have put my trilogy on hold, I have written two of the books and had started on the third, but I think by writing a few short stories will develop my skills and improve the novels when I get round to re editing them.
Sci-Fi is not something I’ve ever felt a compulsion to write although I do read it occasionally but like you not my favourite genre. Very serendipitous Hetty is depressed because that’s what the story Rose is part of focusses on too. It’s called The Assentvof Rose Marie Gray and there should be a few snippets on her on this blog. Hoping to try and publish that this year. Apart from her bits the other pieces are from four other projects. I’ve got two books written awaiting editing, one new one underway and the second in a series under construction. All are interlinked in some way.
This piece is from a chapter that connects a lot of things in my opus magna. It plays in alternate parallel worlds and time. I might put up another snippet but probably not reveal the whole chapter or tale in full here. Spoilers and all that lol.
You’re right though. Short stories do help make writing concise. A necessary element of editing in spotting where unnecessary words rest and grammar. I shall be visiting your blog this week to check out Hetty 🙂
Thank you for commenting too !!
Thought prevoking
Thank you for commenting and nice to see you outside of the course! It’s part of a chapter in the second book of a series. More projects waiting patiently for continuation. If it’s thought provoking I will read that as positive and hope it means you’d like to know more in both directions about this excerpt. 🙂